As some of you know, I’m currently working on the next Old Money title, tentatively christened “Old Money, New Woman”. As we wrap up the editing process, we’ll be speaking with book publicists, cover designers, influencers, agents, and publishers to get as much traction and exposure when the new book hits the marketplace. If any of you know someone in the industry who might be able to assist, please feel free to contact me privately.
The next book is a natural follow up to “The Old Money Book” and “The Old Money Guide To Marriage.” It may be the last of the Old Money series for me as an author, but it is the first of this series to be written specifically for women.
During the writing, rewriting, and editing process, some of the things I wrote initially, of course, will not end up in the final version of the book. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t worthwhile concepts. It simply means they didn’t fit with all of the other ideas and information that will be in the book.
To that end, below is brief ‘Deleted Scene’ from Old Money, New Woman. Enjoy…and of course I’ll keep you posted as we progress.
Thanks.
- BGT
Old Money Favorites: Definition and Structure
Old Money Gals and their families love definition and structure. For social events, these two things reduce the chances of confusion or disappointment and increase the chances of the hosts and guests being able to enjoy themselves to the fullest.
Definition and structure allow people to be informed about the parameters and expectations of a social event. It’s easier to know if the event is something you’d like to attend. Preparation for the event is made simple: you know what to wear, what to expect, when to arrive, and when to go home. Knowing all these, it’s easier to accept, dress appropriately, relax, and enjoy yourself.
As an example, you might receive a voicemail like this: ‘Hello, Jessica, this is Miranda. I wanted to invite you to dinner at my house next Saturday evening. My parents are in from out of town, and a couple of college classmates will also be there. I think it’s a group you’ll enjoy. Drinks at 7:30, sit down for dinner at 8. Let me know if you can make it. Thanks, bye.’
At first, this might seem like a casual, almost off-hand invitation. More closely examined, however, the offer is very polite and informative. First, you know what the event is. It’s drinks and dinner. It’s at her house, so it’s probably not formal. Other guests include her family and friends she’s known for awhile, so that adds an element of comfort for you. And it probably won’t be a late evening.
The ‘environment’ and the ‘situation’ are simple, straightforward, predictable, and safe. It’s an easy invitation to accept and look forward to. Typically Old Money.
Larger, more formal events are still marked by the same definition and structure. A holiday celebration at the club will have a schedule. Drinks at a certain time, dinner served at a certain time, and then dancing until whenever. Dress codes are often obvious, and sometimes plainly articulated (black tie, blazer and tie, evening attire, etc.) Note: if you have a question, just ask. No one’s going to think less of you for doing so.
These directions make it easier for guests and newcomers to fit in, know what’s expected, and assimilate with the group. Of course, as people get to know each other better over time, some of the formalities will be set aside. Still, it will be rare for an Old Money Gal to invite you over ‘just to hang out’. There’s usually definition and structure to the event, even if it’s very casual in appearance.
Look for these characteristics in the events you’re invited to. The more structure and definition, the better odds that you’ll have a good time.
If this ‘offering’ is indicative of your new book; I can’t wait for the final product! COUNT ME IN!
Thanks, Jan! Note to self…one hundred copies for Jan. – BGT
And wouldn’t you be flabbergasted! All the way to the bank …. Regards, Jan
Really looking forward to this Byron!
Thank you, Sue. Looking at the manuscript this pm. – BGT
This was a delight to read and did not make the cut; I can only imagine the book being much more intriguing.
Thanks, K Lee. – BGT
The title of your post reminds me of Caro Emerald’s album of a similar name. ( She’s a great jazz singer)
Regarding the subject, I thought immediately of two weddings I was invited to this summer. Both listed the venue, of course, but it was unclear whether the events would take place fully or partially outdoors. Weddings in barns and orchards are a trend. My feelings about “folksy” venues aside, knowing what type of ground you will be treading across, and what whims of nature you might endure are critical to choosing your attire for the day. Preparing so you will be at your best is very important.
I have to recommend another book especially for female readers ( while awaiting yours, bien sur) : “Better than Beauty: A Guide to Charm” by Helen Valentine and Alice Dickey Thompson. Originally written in 1938, it has great wit and insight about how to behave in social situations that is applicable today.
Thank you for the book recommendation, Elle. And yes, walking across the street or walking across a pasture is a consideration when it comes to footwear for the ceremony. Bon courage, as the Parisians say. – BGT
Thanks for sharing with us, Byron. If I ever consider getting married, I will expect the lady to be familiar with this trilogy..
PS: An Economist article about “Crazy Rich Asians” mentioned this light-hearted quiz on the website of The Straits Times: Old Money vs New Money bit.ly/2wAKmm2
Thanks, JL. – BGT
I so appreciate definition and structure. It is only polite to let people know exactly what you’re inviting them to. I’m looking forward to reading your latest book when it comes available!
Thank you, Kathleen. – BGT
I am looking forward to reading it.
Thanks, Jane. Nose to the grindstone right now… BGT
I wish more people would do this. We were recently invited to a backyard BBQ/cookout and were told “just come by any time”. People think they’re making it easier on you when they say “wear anything” or “any time is fine” but it creates confusion. Clear instructions are always appreciated.
Thanks, Amy. It’s so true. Point us in the right direction, please… BGT
Hi Byron. Yes, I’m looking forward to reading it as well. Thank you for the good work you do.
Thanks, Bev. Hope you’re well. – BGT
Great news. This may seem odd to say but I can feel the Love in your writing — for what you do, for your subject matter and for your readers. Very much looking forward to reading your latest work.
Thank you, Simone. I’ll keep you posted. – BGT
Like everyone else I can’t wait to read the new book, Byron and am happy to be part of the target audience! I am curious about the research you carried out for a book about/for OM women and if you have an idea of the release date yet? Also, I completely agree about the comfort of definition and structure. 🙂 Cheers, Phillippa
Hi Phillippa! Hope you and the family are well. Oh, yes, I got an earful from the women in my life. They first encouraged me to write a book specifically for women, then provided great perspective and details about how the Old Money culture can be beneficial to women around the world. I found myself with a lot of ideas to contribute as the process took shape, but make not mistake: this one is a collaboration from many of the Old Money Gals in my life. Hoping for a Black Friday release, depending on cover art and fulfillment details. Thank you so much. – BGT
Dear Mr. Tully,
What wonderful news! I will be delighted to read a book with women in mind. Thank you for all you do, Rachel.
Thanks, Rachel. Much appreciated. – BGT
I too was very excited to see that a new “Old Money” book was coming. Looking forward to it, Byron.
Thank you, Stacy. Yes, manuscript is back from proofreader, so we’re on to the next step… BGT
Usually, if cocktails are served first and then it’s pointed out that it’s a ‘sit-down’ dinner that signals to me it’s ‘formal’ or semi-formal, at best. The only thing that might make me question that is the fact that she called rather than sent out an invite. I still have formal dinners ‘in my home’ and yes – I still send out written invitations. Sending out written invites allows you the opportunity to state dress code, sit-down dinner which almost always indicates formal, semi-formal or buffet (which is usually casual).
Thank you, Kathie. This is great information and really sets the standard. Much appreciated. – BGT
I have purchased and enjoyed all of the titles in your Old Money series. I am looking forward to Old Money advice geared towards women. Thank you for expanding your work Byron.
Thanks, Tascha. And welcome! Happy new year! – BGT