I’ve written extensively, online and in my books, about how to meet, date, get engaged, and get married to the right person. Sure, it’s difficult to define ‘right’, and so much randomness seems to be involved as we go through the process of falling in love.
Still…I think it’s important we get our heads around a few fundamentals, even if it’s just a starting point.
Here are some characteristics to look for in a partner. They won’t guarantee that you’re relationship will improve over time, or be fulfilling, but they are strong indicators.
1. Curious. The person is interested in exploring new ideas, countries, cultures, and subjects. They are aware that they don’t know it all and want to know more. Not in a nosy way, but in a way that enriches them and their relationships. Habits include reading books, not watching television; exercising, not slugging; conversation, not gossip; travel, not shopping; and education as a lifelong pursuit.
2. Compassionate. If someone isn’t compassionate, no matter how passionate they are for you, the relationship won’t have legs. A person has to care about other people. If they don’t, over time, they won’t care enough about you to sustain and grow a long term commitment.
3. Confident. If a person doesn’t know themselves and have confidence in their abilities to meet challenges, set goals, and take risks, then they probably won’t make a good partner. You’ll need someone to lean on at some point, someone who can carry the load for both of you for a time. A person without confidence can’t do this. A person who requires feedback from you all the time to make decisions becomes a burden, and the relationship won’t remain healthy.
Let me know what matters to you. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts…
– BGT