Excerpts from an email, from an acquaintance, a couple of weeks ago…
“I had success young, which was not completely a good thing. I tended to confuse ‘right place/right time’ with expertise, and took my licks accordingly.
“After a setback, I managed to dig my way out and become financially independent. I had just turned 40 and felt like I’d been to hell and back, professionally and personally. I could have blamed other people quite easily, as I work in a cutthroat industry, but it was mostly me. My choices, my behavior, both on the good side and the bad side.
“When the game-changer check finally cleared the bank and I was able to sit on the beach and think, I decided against making big pronouncements about how I’d live the back half of my life. I just decided that I would avoid doing things I would feel bad about later. That was it.
“If there was a 51% chance of regret, guilty, repercussions, consequences, or just plain bad karma, I would not do it, whatever ‘it’ was. I’d still do business and make deals, but the guardrails were up.
“Hangovers and hurting people became a thing of the past, as much as the temptations presented themselves. Cutting corners at work was a no-go. Honesty was my default priority. Letting the chips fall where they may as a result was something I adjusted to dealing with.
“I say ‘adjusted’ because it sucks sometimes when you could do something profitable or easy/easier and you choose not to for ‘integrity’ or ‘possible bad things that could happen as a result’. I’d like to say that I’m always noble, but half the time I’m just avoiding self-sabotage.
“I just don’t do things that might cause me trouble or pain. Not anymore. Sure, I’m in a relationship and I might get hurt. That’s different than making a solo choice that has all the tell-tale signs of possibly/probably going sideways. Something destructive. Something preventable.
“12 months into this ‘just don’t screw up’ program and I’m a lot happier, a lot more successfully, in the wholistic sense of the word, and still financially independent.
“Maybe as a result or maybe not related at all, I got rid of a lot of ‘stuffa’. Things that I had that I wasn’t using and really didn’t mean anything to me anymore. Ego things. Heirloom things. Biggest change: sold the house. Sold the car. Moved to the city. Smaller place. Minimal amount of ‘things’. Taking the subway now. Wearing sneakers until I hit the office, then changing into heels. Conservative investments. Cheaper restaurants, less often. Trying to be polite as often as I can without getting walked on.
“I’m not exercising any more often than I used to. Not really eating any better. My hours are still crazy. I’m still a little crazy. I’m just not shooting myself in the foot on a regular basis, here at age 40.
“Yes, I am a quick study. Hahaha!”
- BGT