Part of Old Money culture is the preservation of certain traditions: dressing appropriately, reading voraciously, working diligently, and spending carefully.
Etiquette and manners of course fall into this group of top-shelf priorities. Within this category, I have to mention the dying art of sending the Thank You note.
To be clear: emails do not cut it. If you’re a guest at someone’s home for dinner or lunch, a handwritten note of appreciation is the very least you an do. If it’s an elegant dinner party, a bouquet of flowers delivered by the florist the next day is a thoughtful and memorable gesture.
But for most occasions, it is simply the handwritten Thank You note that works best.
The reasons are numerous.
First, we want to express gratitude and appreciation sincerely as often as we can. This is a spiritual truth, and a human reality. The universe (or God) likes it when we appreciate things, and we are more likely to receive more of them when we acknowledge and say thanks.
Second, a specifically designed Thank You note that says “Thank You” on it (or “Merci” as I’ve seen here in France) is a subtle way of communicating to the recipient that not only are you grateful for their hospitality or kindness, but that you make a habit of writing Thank You notes to express your gratitude. This response makes them aware that their effort was not wasted, and that you have learned some manners somewhere along the way.
Third, it’s good business. A young man I mentored years ago was making his way in the entertainment industry, just out of college. I encouraged him to send a Thank You note to people he worked for after each television production job. He was initially skeptical, until a production manager called him back in to discuss a new job opportunity.
As he sat down in the office to discuss the position, the production manager spun in his chair and pointed to his bulletin board. It was filled with production notes, photos with the members of the cast, crayon drawings by his daughter…and the handwritten Thank You note my young friend had sent him after working as a runner the previous season.
“Nobody else has ever done that,” said the production manager, referring to the note. My young friend landed the job as an assistant director for three seasons on the show. Yes, he was qualified and yes, he worked hard. But he got in the door because of a Thank You note.
People remember.
So keep a box of Thank You notes in your desk drawer at home or at work. Use them when appropriate. Mail in the post them the day after the event or the day after receiving a gift.
Yes, it requires paper, postage, and time.
But some traditions are worth preserving.
- BGT