You’re sitting in a cafe. Maybe it’s in Boston or New York, Charleston or San Francisco, Mumbai or London. The man sitting next to you is dressed, even if he is not “dressed up.” His shirt is clean and has a collar. His jacket fits. He’s wearing long pants that may not be denim and his shoes are not sneakers or flip-flops. He is, in summary, well-groomed and does not appear to have slept in the clothes he’s wearing. He is not engrossed in his cell phone. He may be having a conversation with another person at a reasonably discreet volume. He may even be in immediate possession of a book.
Shocking, I know.
You deduce that he may be Old Money, and when he reaches in his jacket pocket to pay his bill, your interest peaks: What really is in the Old Money wallet? The snarky retort is, of course, Old Money.
But that’s too easy. Below is a potential list of The Top However Many Things You Might Find in an Old Money Wallet:
- Seldom-used credit card, probably American Express. Probably not a Black Card. More likely a Gold Card.
- ATM card for credit union, private bank, or foreign bank. Or all three.
- Drivers license, which, invariably, will carry the restriction of requiring the issued party to wear corrective lenses while operating a motor vehicle.
- Medical insurance card (Old Money insures the hell out of everything, including itself.)
- Auto club card (essential when all the cars in your family each have over 200,000 miles on them.)
- Public transportation monthly pass (Old Money rides the subway like everybody else.)
- Frequently-used public library card.
- Claim check from shoe repair shop (Old Money shoes are consistently re-soled and refurbished, and therefore last a lifetime.)
- Folded-up post-it note with various computer passwords and pin numbers that, for some unknown reason, cannot remain retained in the brain. Invariably, the ink or pencil lead will be rubbed smooth or smeared over time and this document will be rendered worthless and, at some point in the future, discovered and discarded.
- Ticket stubs from chamber music concerto, three years old. No coherent reason for keeping them, but they never seem to get discarded in the twice-a-year wallet house-cleaning ritual.
- Business cards.
As always, your comments and additions are welcome. As a man, I have no idea what is in any woman’s purse, Old Money or not. Old Money Gals, you’re encouraged to elaborate.
Below are photos of my own retired Ghurka wallet, and the new recruit now doing active duty.