We can all look back on our lives and identify good traits and bad, smart choices and blunders, luck and misfortune.
We can see how we’ve changed, improved or declined, harnessed our habits or become victims of them.
The most difficult challenge I face is accepting the fact that other people are not me. Not everyone shares my views. Not everyone believes as I do. Not everyone wants what I want. Not everyone can see what I see. Not everyone wants to take my advice.
Idiots. That’s my first response. It is unfair, inaccurate, and ungentlemanly. I feel it in the moment, but I don’t mean it in the long run. I conveniently forget the bumps upon my long road of personal evolution. I have had the benefit of decades, the cushion of privilege. I have sat like a crow on a telephone line, watching the passing traffic speed, swerve, and collide. I am not faultless, but I am wise.
Why can’t other people recognize my intelligence and accept my advice? Their life would be so easy and improve so much if they would just do as I say. I’m right. I know that I’m right. Other people who have listened to me have benefited and prospered. I have a track record. So why don’t people–people I care about like family and friends–just heed my words of wisdom and reap the rewards?
Why? Because they are not me. For whatever reasons, they are not able or willing to listen right now. They must travel along their own path. Such is the nature of free will, the most treasured of all human traits.
My acceptance of this reality does not lessen the frustration, but it does offer me a point to ponder: I should recognize this. I should be patient. I should continue to love them. I should accept them as they are, where they are.
I should, but it is not easy.
- BGT
The best solution I’ve come up with is to lead by example and offer advice when it’s asked for. But you’re right, things would be so much better if everybody would just do what I tell them to.
Should you become exasperated when others do not accept your well-intentioned advice and guidance, consider that those ‘others’ might just think like the person who said this:
“My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”
― Anthony Hopkins
It’s hard to watch people struggle when you know you could help, but everyone has their own path. It’s frustrating, but recognizing that we can’t force others to change is a big part of growth. Patience and love are key, even when it’s tough.