We are often told about the importance of making a good first impression.
It is wise advice because it is timeless and often accurate: make a good first impression, and odds are you have a good chance to experience a productive social, personal, or professional relationship with the other party.
Make a bad first impression and you’re crawling your way out of a hole to reestablish your credibility or attractiveness to others.
What we hear less about is making a good Last Impression. By this I mean how we finish a job or end a relationship.
In my decades of work, I’ve witnessed a wide variety of people who have behaved in remarkable ways at work and in their personal relationships with other.
The most impressive are the ones who start a job or project diligently, punctually, mentally prepared, with all the tools and information required. They maintain a steady pace throughout the process, even allowing for dips in productivity or quality. Then, the double-check their work and correct or revise as needed. They do a little more than was required. They review their work with their colleagues, explaining their choices and asking for input.
These are the core elements of making a good Last Impression, as well as a Lasting Impression at work.
With regards to our personal relationships, we may have lost the ability to say a final Goodbye. Technology and good intentions can make us believe that we’ll keep in touch with people when we move or change jobs. Often, we don’t.
We need to learn to say Goodbye.
We also need to remember the gentle art of ending a personal relationship honestly and kindly. If a friendship or a romance isn’t what it used to be, we need to honor that reality. We need to be candid with the friend or lover and admit that things have ended.
Full disclosure: I am horrible at this. I will simply gradually disappear over weeks and months, leaving people wandering what happened. Eventually, they’ll find out from mutual friends or finally from me that they’d crossed a line or that our friendship just wasn’t working for me anymore.
Don’t be like me. If you have cared about someone, have the courage to tell them that things have changed.
Don’t be Byron The Old Money Ghost.
In summary, we need to make sure our First Impression is a good one. More importantly, we need to make sure the Last Impression we leave people with is also just as good.
- BGT
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I too tend to ‘ghost’ it is quite hard for me to deal with a possible confrontation. It has always been easier to quietly leave. A confrontation will leave me shaken for days. I have always left a job on good terms, but, ending a friendship is so much harder. I confess to liking my ‘ghost’ more than I should.
I hadn’t given this much thought until reading this post. The internet spoils us and helps us make excuses about the uncomfortable goodbye. It is a healthy practice to acknowledge the end and to make a good last and lasting impression.