The Old Money Book

One of the most exhausting and sometimes confusing situations we can find ourselves in is when we have mixed emotions or conflicting agendas in our lives.

We want to do one thing, but we find ourselves being obligated to do another. Or old habits prove too hard to break, and we sabotage our own plans with self-destructive behavior.

The simple way to look at is is this: we are often our most productive and most satisfied when our thoughts, words, and deeds are in alignment.

(I may have written about this topic before. After 10 years of blogging, I’m allowed to repeat myself once in awhile.)

This concept of alignment was first brought to my attention by Isaac Tigrett, cofounder of the Hard Rock Cafe and founder of The House of Blues. Scion of a prominent southern family, he went his own way, moving to London as a young man and finding tremendous success in the restaurant business.

His spiritual journey was no less remarkable, despite some controversy. (He is a follower of Sai Baba, who you can research online if you wish.)  In one conversation years ago, Isaac spoke about the importance of alignment, having our thoughts, words, and deeds in harmony with each other.

This seems obvious and doable, but it’s worth noting what we experience when we’re not aligned.

When we think bad thoughts and try to say nice things and do good, eventually our thoughts overrule, send us down a dark path. We appear phony, blurt out our real feelings, and do irrational things.

When we think good things, and then say bad things and do bad things, our speech and actions feel foreign to us, as if we’re not in control of what we say and do. Again, the results are unpleasant.

When we harbor good thoughts and speak kindly, but then do bad things, we confuse others and appear hypocritical. We are not ourselves.

Isaac Tigrett, speaking to college students.

Even as we understand all of these scenarios, we can still find ourselves out of alignment with our thoughts, words, and deeds. We may have to do things at work that we don’t agree with. A family situation may require that we compromise beyond what we’re comfortable with.

When we are faced with a difficult choice, we make decisions that we don’t like and aren’t proud of. Emotional turmoil often results.

Often, but not always, we are not being true to ourselves. And we feel it.

If we have to do this repeatedly over time, resentment builds. Frustration mounts. We lash out because we can’t articulate the source of our anger. We feel we can’t do anything about the situation. We become dishonest, afraid to take a stand, or angry at society in general.

The first thing we can do is be aware of our daily thoughts, our words, and our actions. If we’re thinking unkind thoughts, that’s on us. If we’re saying unkind things, that’s on us. If we’re doing things we don’t want to do or things we know aren’t right, that’s where we have to analyze the situation and assess our responsibility in it, and consider our options.

We can quit our job, if it is demanding unethical behavior from us. We can leave a relationship if it’s forcing us to be deceitful or if we experience deceit. This is sometimes not easy, but the feeling of being in alignment is often better than the predictable, unpleasant circumstances found in simply accepting the status quo, regardless of its impact on our integrity and self respect.

We also need to watch others for alignment. When someone’s words and deeds are in alignment, chances are their thoughts are, too. They’re either nice or their malicious. But it’s easy to recognize. Confusion can arise if someone speaks kindly and then behaves ruthlessly. Don’t be fooled. Don’t be misled. Ignore what people say. Watch what they do. Their thoughts are revealed in their actions.

Thought. Word. Deed. If these three are in alignment, a lot of life’s problems fall to the wayside. The ones that remain…we can handle.

• BGT