We’ve often discussed clothing as a part of the Old Money philosophy. It is the most visible part, but not the most important part.
The most important part is the adoption of Old Money Core Values, as I note in The Old Money Book.
However, as the most visible part, the clothing we choose is a subject that warrants frequent review and continuous emphasis.
Why? Because it communicates nonverbal messages to everyone who sees us, not just the friends, family, and colleagues we know, but the multitude of people we don’t know…and still interact with.
To a certain extent, our clothing tells other how we feel about ourselves, what our values are, what our aspirations are, and what our boundaries are.
In Old Money Style, I compare our wardrobe choices–sometimes made as an afterthought–to the choices made by a costume designer for a feature film–always made with deliberate intent. In a feature film that is usually only 90 to 120 minutes in length, the costume designer must tell the audience who a character is in an instant: are they the down-to-earth hero with a modest background, dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans? Are they the gangster villain, dressed in a silk shirt and wearing a gold chain necklace? Are they the ambitious working girl, dressed in her ‘professional best’ blue suit?
The costume designer selects the clothes that visually communicate the background, occupation, values, and ambitions of each character that are shown to the audience–before the character ever speaks a word of dialogue.
And if you’ll notice, when the wardrobe for a character changes, it tells the audience that something within that character has changed: their financial situation (for better or worse), their goals, their experiences, their desire to fit in or stand out, their need for respect, their quest for love.
Something is different, and that audience sees it. It changes the way they look at the character. It’s that way in films, and in this sense, art often imitates life.
When we encounter a well-dressed person (not necessarily ‘dressed up’, but dressed with a little attention and care) we automatically think about them in a different way than we do a person who is wearing a ragged t-shirt, cargo shorts, and flip-flips.
This may not matter if we’re waiting in line together to buy a cup of coffee, but it does matter if someone is applying for a job interview, talking with a banker about a loan, or going on a date with a potential partner.
We unconsciously make the assumption that the way someone is dressed reflects the value they assign to themselves and the importance they assign to the event for which they’ve dressed (or not dressed).
We also make assumptions about their socioeconomic status and their background. Let’s not pretend that we’re all fair and objective. We’re human, and we judge.
While I don’t advocate that we evaluate a person’s value or worth as a human being based on their wardrobe, I do encourage us to accept how people are and act accordingly. Especially if we want to convey self-respect and signal to others that we require respect. Especially if we want to appear trustworthy. Especially if we want to get ahead.
For all of the above reasons–and more–I encourage people to stick with an Old Money Style wardrobe. While ‘preppy’ has been hijacked by retailers and the internet and coerced into something entirely different than what I knew four decades ago (good god, that sounds like a long time, now that I write it down), I’d suggest now that most people lean toward what’s now called Ivy Style. It’s one term that means the same thing today that it meant 60 years ago.
(Coming soon: a blog post spotlighting a great book about The Andover Shop, which will give you a clear picture of Ivy Style and its importance in American culture.)
Remember: I repeat things not because I don’t recall writing them, but so you don’t forget reading them.
Avoid fashion like the plague. Save your money. Invest in a few quality pieces that will last, garments that will mix and match with each other easily. First, buy what you will wear every day: dress shirts or blouses, wool slacks, practical shoes, wool sweaters, a blue blazer or tweed jacket. Seek out purveyors of quality traditional clothing, stuff that will look good and endure for years.
You’ll give people the idea that you’ve spent more time thinking about your future than your wardrobe. You’ll give them the idea that you’re smart with your money. You’ll give them the idea that you would rather garner recognition from your accomplishments that grab attention with your outfits. Not really a downside to those assumptions, is there?
Confession: living in Paris for several years and now cloistered in the French countryside, I am a little out of touch as to which vendors in the US and UK currently sell quality, value-priced goods that fit the bill. Of course, Mercer and Sons shirts, J Press, J Crew, Lands End, and some of Ralph Lauren’s offerings are still on my radar as good investments that come in a variety of price points. Outdoor and Country in the UK handle a range of all weather gear and accessories.
Still, I would welcome more up-to-date, boots-on-the-ground comments from the tribe. Who is selling good khakis these days? What about winter coats? Any new suppliers on the scene that we should know about?
Looking forward to your comments.
- BGT
Here’s a hidden gem for women: Custom-made vintage-inspired dresses.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/heartmycloset?ref=usf_2020
This is something of a passion project for my teenage daughter, and she has me on board. She would ask that we all consider not only what our clothes communicate as we wear them, but also what our patterns of buying clothes communicate about who and what we value. Who is making our clothes, and how are they treated? How long will they last, and what will happen to them when they are no longer wearable? What kind of care do they require, and what is the impact of that care?
She likes a lot of the old standbys, whether new or secondhand – LL Bean, Ralph Lauren, J. Crew/Madewell, Boden, as well as Sperry and Keds for footwear – though she and I have both been disappointed with the relative quality of Lands’ End in recent years. Their sweaters in particular just have not held up, though t-shirts and polos have still generally been okay.
Some brands that there is less talk about that she and I would like you to consider:
SAS (shoes for men and women) – Fit even my husband’s weird hobbit feet, and he has a terrible time finding shoes. If you have a store where you can be fitted in person, SAS has very knowledgable and patient staff.
Lucy and Yak (women’s clothes, mostly casual) – Much of their selection is very loud and bright and youthful-looking, but good-quality basic jeans and pants can also be had here, and we appreciate the attention they pay to their supply chain and to the environmental impact of the fabrics they use.
Known Supply (mostly women’s clothing, also unisex/men’s shirts) – Less loud and bright than Lucy and Yak, similar attention to sustainability and even more attention to supply chains. Very impressed with everything she or I have bought from them.
TomboyX (undergarments, swimwear, activewear, sleepwear) – Don’t let the name scare you! They make our favorite swimsuits – comfortable and practical for actually, you know, swimming in without randomly exposing anything one does not want exposed. Everything I’ve bought from them has held up well.
Universal Standard (women’s clothing, casual and professional) – Can be a little hit or miss; in particular, I now prefer to get my jeans from Lucy and Yak, as they seem to hold up better. I’ve been very happy with their button-down shirts, though.
Collectif (women’s dresses) – My daughter has a cotton vintage-style dress with a matching sweater from Collectif that is her go-to for most occasions that require something between everyday khakis or jeans and a prom dress. This outfit sees a lot of wear and has held up impressively for a teenage girl who is not always the most careful or gentle with her things.
For men’s khakis my go-to is Jack Donnelly. Their twill is great and they have more than one fit., plus poplin for warm weather. (And as far as I know they don’t sell non-iron, plastic-feel pants.) I go with relaxed fit, which is great. Their black Friday sale is tops as well. And Gregg Donnelly is fabulous at customer service. I currently have three pair of their khakis, and two pair of their navy blue chinos. They come unfinished at the hem.
Being a San Diego guy, I recently discovered Buck Mason, especially their west coast ivy collection. They’ve also partnered with J. Press. I like Stan Ray’s OG loose fatigue khakis, as well.
For hot, humid weather, linens are my go-to (more for shirts than trousers), or polo shirts. All the well known brands sell them.
It seems that with the rise of inflation (and thus on cost of materials), even the stalwart brands seem to be skimping on material nowadays. I was in a Polo (Ralph Lauren) store last year and was shocked how thin the wool sweaters were. If I were looking to build my wardrobe these days I would shop on EBay or thrift stores for the top brands that were made earlier than say 2020.
You are correct, Expat Yank. I just bought an old late ‘90s era label Lands’ End Hyde Park on ebay that was mistakenly advertised as dead stock. But nonetheless, it is great quality. The thickness of the cloth, the length of the collar points at 3.25 inches, and the fullness of the body are so much better than the newer Hyde Parks I own, even those that were bought in the 2015 or so, to say nothing of the crap they sell now and call Hyde Park.
i just purchased a pair of khakis from Duckhead, and am extremely satisfied with them
I have had incredible service from an inexpensive range by the Japanese company UniQlo. Some readers might know them. They are popular in Paris and much like Gap was in the old days. I think I have half a dozen pairs which have seen service in the garden and at club lunches. I think I’ve been wearing some of them for going on eight to ten years already. They are respectably shabby now.
Unfortunately, as is the case with so many things, the latest products or issues have the so-called two percent elastic in them. They just don’t feel the same anymore and in my view any chino that isn’t pure 100% cotton is the work of heathen and shouldn’t be on the bodies of believers. In the higher price range RRL do a really solid chino based on the US Army WW2 style. They are very ‘décontracte’ – casual/relaxed, as the French say.
Regards,
David.
Made in the UK Barbour jackets (last a lifetime), Scottish knitwear from Johnstons of Elgin and, shirts from Drakes (made in Somerset, UK) – the shirts last forever (literally) and the button downs have a classic collar roll (OCBD) and work just as well worn casually or formally; the knitwear is superb quality. None of these are bargain basement but, they last and fit the brief perfectly.
I really like J. Crew’s Wallace and Barnes line. Think of them like a preppier RRL (more summer in the Catskills, less ranching out West). They had a pair of high-waisted officer chinos a few years back that were my daily go-to. For shoes, I’ve fallen in love with Rancourts. Check out their camp moc! They work great sockless with shorts or with chunky socks and cords in the winter.
Completely agree, Rancourt are excellent!
Yep. A pulled together appearance, as my maternal grandmother used to call it, is extremely important for all of the reasons you outline. I’d also suggest that it is linked closely to respect for oneself too.
Kind Regards,
H-U
Well before JPress, Lands End, JCrew, and Ralf Lauren, there was Brooks Brothers which practically invented the ivy/trad look. BB Design Director Michael Bastian has done a great job of freshening up their product line over the past four years. The costume, however, may be the easiest aspect of Old Money to assimilate. There is also the simple matter of accumulating the Money, ensuring that it is continually compounding at an acceptable rate, as well as growing Old through several generations.
Agree that they started it, but not that anyone has rectified their problems. He is making oxford cloth button downs in the USA again, so that is great, but the no longer have the fit that made them #1 and they dishonestly refer to a skinnier fit as “traditional.” Poor and poorly deceptive.
I’ve experienced similar frustrations as well with their shirts. My favorite BB OCBD shirts were discontinued long ago. Recently, they stopped offering my favorite BB shirts in the size I’ve been purchasing from them for the last 20+ years. Fortunately there are great custom shirt makers who can produce these shirts. That is how I’ll likely procure OCBD shirts going forward.
Second hand shops are also good sources of clothes, especially if you’re on a budget! You can find name brands in excellent condition for a fraction of the price. It also keeps clothes out of a landfill and reduces waste.
I was just discussing this with my teenage daughter yesterday as we perused a local thrift store (a favorite pastime of ours for basically her whole life and most of mine). Fashion is actually an interest of mine despite your above advice. 🤣 I think it’s a great form of self expression and a creative outlet. That said, I am very selective about what and where and when I buy. As I’ve gotten older, I have found what works for me and what makes me feel comfortable. I pay very close attention to materials labels. I’ve slowly been rotating out pieces that aren’t natural fibers for ones that are at least majority natural. Sustainability and ethics are important too, but I try not to overthink it as that can often be a pricey greenwashing gimmick. I take good care of my belongings and wear them for literal decades. I have favorites I reach for again and again. I love trying new things so I have a subscription to Rent The Runway which is currently paused because I have no use for it now (pausing costs nothing).
The discussion my daughter and I had was concerning dress codes at school. I told her while I support people being able to freely dress as they please, that with anything there are times and places for certain choices. Both male and female individuals should put enough foresight into their outfits before leaving home for school. They should be comfortable, clean, and their clothes should FIT. She has told me some young women at her school wear bras as tops. Many young men somehow manage to defy gravity and wear their pants around their knees. I’ve seen both of these instances. There is a fine line between freedom of expression and disrespect of not only others but yourself.
There is a private day school nearby that does not have a dress code in the upper school. Rather, they say students may wear whatever they wish, but be prepared to have discussions with people while on campus – be that students, teachers, or other faculty and even parents/visitors. In other words, you are accountable for your choices. I really respect this approach.
I’ve always leaned into the prep/ivy look. I love a good pea coat, a cozy cardigan, some Hunter wellies, a plaid scarf. I’m very drawn to neutrals and earth tones. Pieces that never go out of style and can truly look good on everyone. It’s not for every person. But that’s why fashion can be so fun.
My usual formula for not dressy but not too casual is tiny gold huggie hoops, a camel cashmere sweater or black tee shirt, and black slim fit ankle trousers or straight leg jeans. This works well for grabbing a coffee or parent teacher conferences,Shoes and bags get changed out according to my mood.
I also have a black mock turtleneck tee that I love to wear with my jeans or tan trousers, and many simple yet flattering dresses.
My hope is to make things less complicated and comfortable while looking put together. What I love most right now are my aforementioned gold hoops. I don’t ever have to take them out. I actually have an extensive earring collection (and jewelry overall as my grandmother was a jeweler) and I wear earrings more than any other item of jewelry. But the hoops are great because I can sleep in them, swim, shower, even wear over ear headphones and it’s like they’re not there at all. One less thing to have to think about.