As we go through life, we learn things. Sometimes we learn in school, sometimes by experience. We accumulate facts, process feelings, and make judgments. We behave and make choices, for the most part, consistent with the worldview we’ve constructed from these various elements.
Our opinions are formed. We may affix labels to ourselves in order to identify and communicate our opinions or our beliefs. We forged bonds with others who share our beliefs. We have our opinions reinforced by the things we read and the people (who are like us) we talk to.
Life goes along swimmingly for the most part in this scenario.
However, what happens when we receive new information that contradicts or challenges our carefully constructed belief system?
It is easy to dismiss it out of hand. It is uncomfortable to consider, challenging to accept, and disruptive to implement (as a example, if the doctor tells us we need alter our diet or exercise more). We often attack the source of the information and try to discredit them. We may rationalize. We may deny. We may ‘hunker down’ and entrench ourselves in our present mindset and resist change or progress or innovation or ideas that threaten our inner world.
The familiar is comfortable. People don’t know what they like, the old saying goes, as much as they like what they know.
We may, as an option, consider the benefits of taking this new information ‘on board’ as they say. If the benefits outweigh the discomfort, we may decide to accept this new information. Our minds will need to make room and/or we’ll need to mentally make adjustments. We’ll live with it because it’s good for us.
Perhaps the most powerful and effective approach to take when we are introduced to new information is to simply admit that it might be possible. It might be true. It might be unsettling. But it might be helpful.
Not just helpful as in ‘what’s in it for me?’ helpful, but good for us in the sense of challenging our staunchly held beliefs in a way that opens our minds and leads us to thinking differently and living a better life.
‘Could be,’ was the phrase I often heard an uncle of mine say when presented with an opinion or position. He avoided dogma like the plague. He remained principled, but allowed that circumstances have weight and times change. He did the tedious work of research in order to fully understand a subject or an issue. He weighed different perspectives and opinions and came to conclusions, if at all, slowly and thoughtfully. He picked apart faulty assumptions and bombastic arguments methodically, dryly, and thoroughly.
Once he’s made up his mind, however, he kept it open enough to consider new information, like a window for fresh air, fresh ideas, and sunlight.
This attitude requires a certain Montaigne-like objectivity. A little distance. A lot of patience. An admission of our limits when it comes to really ‘knowing’ something as certain.
It also demands that we set aside belief–what we believe to be true–and look at what is objectively presented to us as evidence and proof. People who believe they can fly often run into problems with gravity. Why? Because their belief contradicts a law–something that is actually real, true, and permanent.
Of course, our religious beliefs are based on faith. We take comfort in things unseen. That’s great. As far as it goes. When belief spreads into other areas of our lives and nudges out common sense, scientific fact, and the just plain obvious, then we are in for an unpleasant awakening…or a long journey on a slow boat down that river in Egypt commonly known as Denial.
‘I may be wrong about that.’ No more powerful words have ever been spoken. The more often we say them to ourselves, the more powerful we become.
- BGT
oh, yeah. I’ve learned over the decades that I’ve been so wrong about so many things. Still the case, I’m sure. Thank you for this most timely post, Byron.
One of the things I miss most about my youth was a sense of concrete certainty of any given position on a topic. I find myself saying now “the more I learn; the less I know.” Great post Byron. I have been reading your work for years and thoroughly enjoy it. All the best.
I enjoy being around people who are thoughtful and analytical—those who use critical thinking to form well-considered, balanced opinions.
Great post. My grandmother was very traditional as a wife. One day my grandfather came home from a long day at his job at a cotton gin, sat down at the kitchen table, and said to her, as he always did, “Delia, get me a Coke.” For 30 years, she always had. But she’d been watching my working mother’s more egalitarian approach to marriage, and this time she said, “Get it yourself.” The fridge was within his reach. He looked up, very surprised, but only said, “Guess I could.” And he did. My grandmother never did that again, but I have always loved my grandfather’s opennes to this new possibility.