Romance is great. Passion is wonderful. Falling in love is an incredible experience. Being in love and still married ten years later is a rarity.
Discussion of divorce and marital bliss, the causes and the effects, the contributing factors and the unknowable variables, are a staple of conversation among academics heavy with research, astrologers quick with predictions, and the proprietors of hair salons who have just plain heard it all. Just who has more insight and wisdom on the subject is open to debate, though many would side with the hairdressers.
The truth is that nobody really knows what’s going to happen when a couple gets married. It could last less than 24 hours. It could last a lifetime. Only one thing is certain: it won’t be dull.
So how do people ensure the best odds for being happy and staying together? As I discuss in The Old Money Book, common values are the foundation of any enduring relationship. Half the book is about Old Money Values. Yes, chemistry is important, but chemistry will ebb and flow. Common values, the things that are important to each person and to the couple collectively, will help see them through.
A most critical value is the one concerning finances. A person who invests, saves, and budgets prudently will not be happily married for very long to a person who spends spontaneously and lives lavishly, no matter how much money they have. A person who values material possessions above all else is not going to be in harmony with a person who prioritizes financial independence.
As a couple, you will have differences of opinion. You can work those out through communication and compromise. But if you have marked differences in your collective set of values, you are setting yourself up for some real challenges.
So celebrate romance, but know your values.
– BGT